Written by Anna Lane
Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, chances are you’ve got at least a few complaints about your sex life. If you’re tired of one night stands and terrible blind dates, or so bored by the same-old spousal sex that you’re worried you might nod off before the big finish, it could be time to make a change in your home decor–or more specifically, where you place your home decor.
The good news is that transforming your space in order to revitalize your sex life doesn’t have to be an ordeal. Playboy asks Meghan Wallace James, a feng shui practitioner based in Los Angeles, to share a few simple, practical ways to address whatever is (or isn’t) happening in your bedroom.
You don’t need tons of money or a fancy interior designer to put James’ feng shui tips into practice, just a bit of time and the desire for meaningful change. Schedule a date with yourself to make the appropriate adjustments around your house. At the very least, your house will feel fresh and ready to welcome new energy, and if you play your cards right you might even get a chance to try out your bed’s new power position.
Find your love corner.
No, this isn’t a euphemism for vagina (though it should be), but rather the area of your home that corresponds to love and relationships. In feng shui, this is the farthest back right corner of your abode from the vantage point of your front door. Take a brutal assessment of what’s happening in your love corner and think about what’s there and how it correlates to what you want from your sex life.
If a single, lonely old chair is the only thing in your love corner, that might be why the longest sexual relationship you’ve had lately is the one with your hand. Infuse your love corner with intentions for what you want, and choose furniture and design accordingly. Swap the chair for a loveseat and add pairs of items. James advises adding two healthy, round-leaf plants to your love corner if your marriage bed is feeling a bit stale.
Clear the clutter.
This is especially pertinent with regards to your love corner, but your bedroom should be free of junk too. Let’s be honest: no one wants to get busy on a pile of dirty laundry, or be forced to move six crusty plates before disrobing. Clutter, according to James, is “a living embodiment of unmade decisions. Make the decision to no longer tolerate an ambiance of disarray.”
Clean out anything that you’ve been storing under your bed and refrain from using that space as a catch-all going forward. Remember that you’re sleeping with whatever is underneath your bed, and bins of old shoes or divorce documents are not the types of items that make for a sexy threesome. James suggests keeping “it clean and clear under the bed, for better sleep, sex and dreaming.”
Sex up your bedroom.
Far too often, the master bedroom gets overlooked in the whirlwind of daily life, and it can become the final destination for mismatched furniture items that no longer have a place in the rest of the house. If you want to have more sex in your bedroom, it should reflect that. Toss out any old, stained linens and splurge on a new set of sheets in your favorite color.
James suggests the purchase of matching bedside tables and lamps, whether you’re married or single, as they set the intention for “equality in union” and make space for your present or future partner. Stock the tables with fresh flowers, a book of erotic poetry, and your favorite sex toys so it’s clear that the space is all about love and sex. Bonus points for a totally tech and appliance-free bedroom, as James points out that wires are not conducive to intimacy.
Move your bed.
Your bed should be in a power position. This means that it should be against a solid wall with space to enter from either side, with a clear view of the doorway, but without being in line with the doorway. If your bed is pushed into a corner and only accessible from one side, you’re just asking to remain single.
What partner wants to feel like there’s no room for her to get in or out? Power and sex are inextricably linked, so moving your bed to facilitate love making from a power position makes perfect sense. Plus, “sex from a power position” sounds alluring.
Switch up lighting.
Lightbulbs are an inexpensive and easy way to change the energy of your bedroom as well as your home as a whole. Keep in mind that soft lighting is flattering for everyone, and choose bulbs accordingly. Make sure that your (matching!) bedside lamps both have the same type of lightbulbs–preferably soft white ones with a low-wattage – as this provides mood lighting plus reinforces the equality in union element.
Put any overhead fixtures on dimmers (this is an easy switch with the help of a handyman) enabling you to have mood lighting at night and work light during the day. Most importantly, remedy any hideous bare-lightbulb-hanging-from-the-ceiling situations by replacing them with a specialty bulb option and an attractive pull chain.
If you have artwork hanging on the walls of your bedroom, consider the types of subliminal messages it’s sending. James is adamant that it’s far better to leave one’s walls bare, and “painted a soft, sensual color” than it is to live with art that isn’t “uplifting and romantic”.
If you want happiness and unity with your partner, stay away from art pieces that feature single figures in distress. Be intentional with what you hang on your walls, and replace anything that you don’t truly love. This is especially pertinent advice if any of your art pieces were gifts from ex-lovers or spouses; sell or donate them and make room for better art and better partners.